Zombie Encounter

I woke up at 5:45, frightened that I slept through my alarm. This happens before every race. I quickly gathered myself and tried to doze off to catch my last hour of sleep. As I closed my eyes, I noticed my bedroom door opening at a very slow pace. Of course I initially thought it was the wind. I closed my eyes again until I heard what sounded like a my dog hobbling into my room. Frustrated by the distractions I turned over to see what was going on. Suddenly a Zombie appeared in my bedroom. Well, I instantly declared this creature a “Zombie” after being exposed to several zombie flicks over the years. My eyes still heavy from sleep, I adjusted myself with the expectation of this creature being a figment of my imagination or even perhaps a pull over jacket that resembled a Zombie. As I came to, this so called Zombie was still standing right in front of me. I instantly felt my heart racing; but my veins which normally filter blood quickly and consistently began feeling slow and thick as if my blood was the texture of molasses. My body became numb and my brain felt temporarily shut down. For the first time in my life, I was unsure of what to do or how to act.

The Zombie had long hair resting down to his shoulders. I could tell his hair was probably blonde when he was alive but it was difficult to be certain because it was stained with blood and dirt. His nostrils flared like nothing I have ever seen. It was as if they were wounded gills on a fish. With every breath of air the Zombie took, drops of gory bodily fluid would fall from his mouth and nose. This guy had no manners. His groan was very subtle, it wasn’t overkill. I could tell this was not your cliché Zombie figure. This guy was the real deal.     

After several minutes of what was becoming an awkward interaction between me and the Zombie, I was finally able to begin plotting out a plan of action. I noticed a flashlight on the night stand right next to me. My plan was to grab the light and shove it down his throat to prevent him from biting me. I assumed he was slow and weak, not only due to my depiction of Zombie's from the movies but in real life they really do look slow and weak! “OK” I said to myself. “Im gonna mess this Zombie up.” I quickly grabbed the flashlight and yelled, “EAT THIS!”

I quickly came to realize the poor judgment on my part. As soon as I finished my heroic roar, he answered back by grabbing my right cheek with his four fingers, yes I said four. One of his fingers must have been amputated in his travels. I was literally being fish hooked by a guy who almost looked like a dead fisherman. As I stared into the soulless eyes of this zombie I figured he would be the last thing I saw. Then suddenly he dropped me and said “Keep running.”

I then, woke up in a sweat at 6:45. First I thanked god it was just a dream and then I began getting ready for my race. Oddly enough, this race was in fact called “Run For Your Life” A zombie infested 5K race. If you haven’t realized at this point, I have a few un orthodox ways of training for this Ironman.